Suicide Squad: the worst of DC’s worst

Hooligan Rating: 4/10

You know how sometimes you have a thought in your head but when you say it out loud you realize you sound like an idiot? I imagine this how the pitch meeting for Suicide Squad went.

“Let’s make a movie about these bad guys who are thrown together to save the world”

Yep. Sounds cool even when I type it. But then it’s like, when you see it on screen and hear it explained….it seems kinda dumb.

Set after the events of the dreadful Batman v Superman, the world is apparently in need of a group of super humans (annoyingly called meta-humans) in case another super human goes rogue. Okay. Makes sense.

Amanda Waller, played by scene-stealing Viola Davis (seriously she’s the baddest bitch in this movie), runs this secret government organization that doesn’t make any sense to exist. When one of her meta-humans slaves goes rogue — WHAT?? One of her villains went rogue?? No way!! Man, should have seen that coming, right? Whew. Well, let’s call in some more bad guys to clean up the mess….right, guys?? — makes sense.

Here’s the lineup of less than lovable villains:

• Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney):What is he a captain of, anyway? He’s useless. He’s there. He drinks beer. He mumbles. He goes away. He comes back. Like a boomerang. Oh. I get it…..God dammit, DC. He still sucks.
• Deadshot (Will Smith): Has a beef with Batman, but it’s Will Smith, so you never believe he’s the ruthless killer the character is supposed to be. We’ll probably get a Deadshot movie whether we want one or not.
• Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie): The real gem here as the bat-wielding, psycho victim/girlfriend of the Joker. Still not sure what she brings to the table.
• Slipknot (Adam Beach): Give me a break. I…just..can’t.
• Killer Croc (Lost‘s Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje): Yep, a dude that is part crocodile. It makes even less sense on screen. Some things are better left to the colorful panels of the comic books.
• El Diablo (Jay Hernandez): Created by a local comics writer, Jai Nitz currently lives in Lawrence, KS., the dude is one of the cooler characters, yet waaaaay underdeveloped.
• Katana (Karen Fukuhara): Actually, she’s not technically a member of the Suicide Squad, but she’s there. She’s cool, though. She has a sword that captures the souls of its victims. Literally nothing cool happens with this character or that knowledge after they drop this tidbit, though.

We won’t even get into the disaster that is Jared Leto‘s version of the Joker. Played like a pimp who raided a Hot Topic clearance sale, Leto oozes an uncomfortable vibe as he hisses and purrs and slurs his way through scene after scene which really have no real context with what is going on in the movie.

I’d sum up the plot, but there really isn’t one. Something about a supernatural threat (Enchantress, played by June Moore) but the SS is assembled to find and secure something. There’s a lot of walking and talking. And why does Waller need the Suicide Squad if she already has these elite team of soldiers led by boring, chicken eating Rick Flag? My brain hurts from all of the questions.

David Ayer, who has done solid work in the past — The Watch, Training Day — is behind the wheel here, but it doesn’t feel like he’s driving the bus. The flick’s dark, gritty style never really vibes with the bizarre mix of MTV-esque editing and its soundtrack.

It was like Ayers made one movie and the WB execs dared him to make it more like Guardians of the Galaxy or Deadpool. — and when he didn’t, they just brought in the dudes that cut the uber-popular trailer that had us all buzzing with hope.

In fact, this is about as close to making a Marvel movie as DC has come and that’s not a compliment. Unfortunately, they borrowed a few of Marvel’s worst sins:

• Bad Villain?: Enchantress was awful. There’s no way to read positive into this. Poorly written, even more poorly realized.
• Faceless enemies to rack up body count?: Yep (the villain) turns dudes into zombies, or rock monsters…whatever…they are CGi eyesores.

Suicide Squad is  another wasted opportunity by Warner Bros. and DC as far as the continued development of their DCEU. While this trainwreck just adds to the mounting list of demerits, there’s still hope, right?? Maybe Wonder Woman and Justice League won’t suck?

Well…we can dream, can’t we?

Suicide Squad trailer:

All photos and video are property of Warner Bros. Studios.